adoption

Our Adoption Story: Finding Faith When God Seems Silent

Our Adoption Story: Finding Faith When God Seems Silent

"Those children are yours." I stood, somewhat frozen, with terrified assurance that it was God speaking to me. I had hiked nearly an hour up a steep jungle hill to reach the clearing where two little children stood outside their dilapidated mud hut. They weren't exactly waiting for me; they had no other place to go. I was there for their intake interview for a sponsorship program, but now the word adoption was looming over me, pressing down heavy with persistence and discomfort.

You see, we had already adopted - twice before - and we were done. Complete, happy, and satisfied being a family of five. Yet here I was, wrecked by both compassion and injustice at how desperate their lives seemed. I saw their yellow eyes, white scalps, and bony arms. I saw his feet, peeling and red from the rats that chewed on them at night. How they divided up the energy bar I gave them and ran away like little squirrels, to gobble it down privately. They had not eaten at all in more than a day. And they were beautiful. So beautiful.

Three Things I Cherish From Our Adoption

Three Things I Cherish From Our Adoption

I feel like I just gave birth to an elephant. Elephants have the longest gestation period of any land mammal, typically carrying a child in the womb for 21 months or more. Together, my wife and I just bested Mrs. Jumbo; after more than 26 months of waiting, we have a son. Fittingly, March 20 - the day our adoption was finalized and this young life cleaved legally to ours - is the day all creation affirmed new beginnings with the onset of Spring.

In an attempt to put into words that which cannot adequately be put into words, I want to share the three things that, upon initial reflection of our son's adoption, I cherish most from that day.

Already But Not Yet

Already But Not Yet

Miguel was placed in our care as foster parents on January 17, 2015. He was one-week-old, still in the hospital. At the time, there were no known parents or relatives who had come forward to care for him. I spent the next three days beside his crib as often as the nurses would let me, praying over him, weeping for him, asking God to let me love him with every ounce of my being. Our family had not entered into foster care with a goal of adoption, but I knew the first time I set eyes on Miggy that I wanted to be his father. Emotionally, he was already mine. Regardless of what the future would hold, whether he would be in our care for a few weeks or a few months, deep in my heart he had become my son. 

I Don't Feel Called To Foster Care...But I'm Doing it Anyway

I Don't Feel Called To Foster Care...But I'm Doing it Anyway

Recently, my wife and I made the decision to become foster parents. We went through a required 10-week training program, completed online courses, filled out paperwork, compiled a family photo album, completed two home studies…and now we are just waiting on our final approval.

I am excited. And terrified. 

I never thought that I would be able to be a foster parent, for myriad reasons: I am too emotional and could not imagine myself being able to attach to a child and then watch him/her leave my care forever; I have to think about the emotional, physical, and spiritual protection of my own two children, and there is no telling what could happen when another child from a broken home gets added into our daily lives; I am far too busy to deal with all the challenges of foster care; and, honestly, I kind of like my life the way it is. 

And on top of all of that, I just have never felt “called” to be a foster parent.